Life is not always fair. So much that befalls us--both positive and negative--is beyond our control. And there is little that is less fair than being born a mamzer, an illegitimate child. Through no fault of one's own, one is stigmatized for life, unable to marry most Jews. Such status is the result not of an unfortunate accident, but of a deliberate sin of the most heinous kind: adultery or incest by the mamzer's parents[1]. What kind of a relationship or feelings can one expect a child to have towards his sinning parents, whose sin affects him much more than themselves?
"Whoever has a brother from any place imposes upon his brother's widow the obligation of yibum, and is his brother in every respect, with the exception of one who has a brother born from a slave or a non-Jew" (Yevamot 22a). The Gemara explains that the phrase "from any place" comes to include a mamzer so that if the deceased has a brother who is a mamzer, the widowed sister-in-law would require chalitzah from this mamzer[2]. Interestingly, the Gemara found this so obvious that it questions the need to specifically include a mamzer; after all, he is still his brother. To this, the Gemara explains that since the obligation of yibum applies only to a paternal brother, something derived from the sons of Yaakov, who had four different mothers but one father (Yevamot 17b and see here), one might have (incorrectly) argued that just as Yaakov's children were all "kosher", so the obligation of yibum--or in this case, chalitzah--is only operative if the brother is "kosher"[3]. Thus, the need to disabuse us of such a notion, teaching that a mamzer is to be treated like any other brother. He receives an equal share in inheritance, and his kohen brother may become tameh, impure, by attending his funeral. This, in distinction to the case where a kohen who, against Jewish law, marries a divorcee and would not be allowed to attend her funeral. In that case, we want to separate the couple as much as we can--if not in life, then at least in death--whereas in the case of the brother, the aim is to bring them closer together.
It is most reasonable and honourable to treat the sibling relationship between a mamzer and his brother no differently than any other sibling relationship. Much more difficult to understand is the relationship of a father (or mother) to a mamzer son. "Whoever has a son from any place exempts his brother's widow from the obligation of yibum. [The son is] liable for hitting or cursing [his father], and he is his son in every respect, with the exception of one who has a son born from a slave or a non-Jew."
But why? the Gemara asks. Why should the son be liable for cursing one's father who is "not practicing the deeds of his people"? Why not curse a parent who, through deliberate sin--one that requires one to give up one's life rather than transgress--would bring such hurt and shame to a child? "When he did teshuva" is the remarkable answer of the Gemara. If the parent does not repent for the sin, if no regret is shown a child, one would not be liable for cursing--and presumably hitting, too--the sinful parents.
Yet this answer is somewhat problematic. As we discussed in our last post (see here) it is impossible to do teshuva when the sin of adultery begets a mamzer. One can fast from today until next year, express the greatest remorse, and fund a thousand programs for disadvantaged children, but that child will still be a mamzer. Once a mamzer, always a mamzer. The Gemara explains that true, full teshuva is not possible, but "at least now he is practicing the deeds of his people".
Apparently, there are two aspects to teshuva. First and foremost, one must return to the position held before the sin, i.e., one must both express remorse and return money to someone you cheated. But all too often, life can't be wound backwards, and it really is too late to correct one's mistakes. However, that must not deter us. Moving forward, one can still "practice the deeds of the people". Even the most vile sinners can make lives for themselves, can always move away from the past as they build a healthy future. And such deserve our utmost respect.
[1] Why the innocent child must suffer the consequences of the parent's actions is a serious question beyond the scope of this article. For now, we will say that tragically, children often suffer for the terrible mistakes of their parents. Parents also often stop their bad practices lest it hurt their children, clearly the case here.
[2] Yibum would not be allowed, as such a marriage is forbidden in Jewish law.
[3] In the context of Yaakov's children, kosher means that they, unlike children of Avraham and Yitzchak, all remained Jewish. However, as a mamzer is 100% Jewish, kosher here means that he is able to marry other Jews, something a mamzer may not do.
