It is a universal custom in the Jewish world that one cover the challot when they make kiddush on Shabbat. The explanation I have heard most often for this rather strange custom is one quoted by the Tur (Orach Chaim 271) that we do not want to embarrass the challah. It might feel slighted that we first make a bracha on the wine and not on the bread, which is much more basic and vital. By covering the challah it will be unaware that they are not first and hence won't feel shamed.
This explanation, one of three given by the Tur[1], is a perfect example of the teaching of the Rambam (Commentary to the Mishna, Sanhedrin 10:1) that one who takes midrashim literally is a fool. At the same time those who dismiss such midrashim as foolish is committing a serious sin against our Sages. The midrash[2] is teaching the importance of not embarrassing others. If one need be concerned lest one embarrass challah imagine how much more so one must be careful not to embarrass a human being.
And careful one should be. “One who whitens the face of their friend…even though he has to his credit Torah and good deeds, he has not a share in the world-to-come[3]"(Pirkei Avot 3:11).
Our Sages were most concerned that one not even inadvertently embarrass others. This fear was especially acute regarding the poor and the ignorant. We cite just a few Talmudic examples.
“Originally, the wealthy would bring food to the house of mourners in baskets of silver and gold, and the poor in baskets of peeled willow branches. And the poor were embarrassed. The Sages instituted that everyone should bring the meal in baskets of peeled willow branches, due to the honour of the poor” (Moed Katan 27a).
“Originally taking the dead out for burial was more difficult for the relatives than the actual death, such that relatives would abandon the corpse and run away until Rabban Gamliel (who was very wealthy) came and acted with modesty and was buried in [inexpensive] linen garments. And the people followed him and were for buried in linen garments” (ibid).
“Originally all who knew how to recite [the Bikurim text[4]] would recite it while those who did not know how to recite, others would read it for them. But when they [the illiterate] refrained from bringing [out of shame], they decreed that they should read the words to both those who could and those who could not read” (Mishna, Bikkurim 3:7).
Bringing a gift to mourners in nice baskets is most appropriate and burying the dead in fine clothing shows respect to the deceased. These are beautiful things to do - in theory. But when the Sages realized how this inadvertently embarrassed the poor – who had stopped doing the mitzvot – they put an end to these practices. Similarly, it is best to be able to recite religious texts unaided but not at the expense of causing the ignorant shame. Unlike the poor there is much more the ignorant can do to become educated. Nonetheless, our response is not ‘go and learn’ but to ask others not to 'display their knowledge' publicly.
This sensitivity originates in the Torah itself and this week’s parsha presents an even greater example.
“This is the Torah, laws, of the sin offering: In the place where you slaughter the olah, burnt offering, there the sin offering shall be slaughtered before the Lord: it is most holy” (Vayikra 6:18).
The Torah mandates that the korban chatat, the sin offering, be brought in the same place as the korban olah. Unlike a chatat, an olah can be brought voluntarily. Sefer Vayikra opens by describing the scenario of someone voluntarily offering a korban olah. Why? No reason is needed and that is often the best reason. One wants to make an offering to G-d because one wants to make an offering to G-d. And unlike other korbanot the entire korban is burnt[5] on the altar with no part of the olah consumed by humans. The olah is symbolic of one who wants to offer all they have to G-d.
The chatat on the other hand may only be brought by one who has violated one of the most serious sins of the Torah, those that carry the punishment of karet, excision. Had the Torah made a separate place for the chatat it would prove quite embarrassing to the sinner basically making an announcement that here stands a sinner[6]. No doubt many or even most people would not bring the requisite sacrifice thereby denying them the opportunity of complete atonement. The Torah did not want someone who comes to the Temple to offer a sacrifice to feel any embarrassment despite, or perhaps because of, what they may have previously done.
While we no longer have a Temple, we do, thankfully, have a way to atone for our sins, most importantly on Yom Kippur. We all confess to the same sins – regardless of what sin we may or may not have committed. To publicly confess a particular individual sin is forbidden. One may and should do this in the silent amidah. But not out loud.
There is however an important exception; Sins between man and man. If one has, for example, spoken a mistruth against another repentance requires a public admission of one’s wrong.
As the Rambam writes “He should publicly announce: ‘Though I sinned against so and so, and did x, y or z, behold, I repent and express my regret’. Anyone who, out of pride, conceals his sins and does not reveal them will not achieve complete repentance as [Mishlei 28:13] states: ‘He who conceals his sins will not succeed."
That is not an easy thing to do. It’s much better not to commit the wrong against our fellow man in the first place. If one needs to sin[7] let it be a sin between man and G-d. That is much easier to atone for.
[1] The others being that special hidden wrapped challot demonstrates honour to shabbat – kind of how we wrap a present – and that it symbolizes the manna which had a layer of dew below and above. The double portion of manna that fell on Friday is the reason we need two challot in the first place.
[2] The Tur quotes this from the Jerusalem Talmud but apparently it does not appear in our versions of the Talmud.
[3] Rav Yaakov Ettlinger in his collection of responsa, Binyan Tzion rules that one must give up one's life rather than publicly embarrass them, understanding Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai’s view that "better for a person to cast himself into a fiery furnace, than to humiliate another in public" (Bava Metzia 59a), in a most practical way. Thankfully, this view is not widely accepted.
[4] This is the same text that serves as the core text of the Haggadah shel Pesach. Pesach offers many opportunities – both economic and educational – to put these teachings into practice. Long gone are the days in which the Rabbis forbade the wealthy from purchasing meat and/or fish for Yom tov to put pressure on merchants who engaged in price gouging before Shabbat and the holidays.
[5] Hence the usual “translation” of an olah as a burnt offering, its literal meaning being to rise up.
[6] While the korban chatat is also brought in some situations which are quite hard to classify as sins, people would still likely assume that the reason one is bringing a korban is due to sin. Especially as those occasions are childbirth, a Metzora and a Nazirite all situations where people are likely to know their status
[7] “If a person sees that his evil inclination is gaining control over him he should go to a place where he is not known. He should wear black, and he should wrap his head in black, he should [if he can’t overcome his desire] do as his heart desires in private and not desecrate the name of Heaven in public” (Moed Katan 17a).
