“And Yitzchak was forty years old when he took Rivka, the daughter of Betuel the Aramean of Paddan-Aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean” (Breisheet 25:20). The only new piece of information in this verse is the fact that Yitzchak was 40 when he married. While we did not yet know that, we could have figured that out. The Torah details the death of Sarah at 127 and immediately follows with the detailed story of finding a wife for Yitzchak. Knowing that Sarah was 90 when Yitzchak was born and that Rivka brought Yitzchak comfort after the death of his mother, it is not hard to surmise that Yitzchak was approximately 40 when he married[1].
But surmise or not why does the Torah tell us his age at marriage, something it does for no other Biblical figure save for Eisav[2] – including his wife Rivka? One might simply answer that as the first “courtship” described in the Torah and moreover the first Jewish marriage – Abram and Sarai were not yet Jewish when they married – the Torah highlights its details, stressing the importance of marriage in Jewish life.
This follows the detailed description of the first Jewish funeral – Sarah being the first Jew to die – highlighting the importance of respect for the dead. As to why Rivka’s age is not mentioned, such a question would have no relevance for the Biblical reader until modern times. In a patriarchal society it is the lives of men which are highlighted. How else to explain that in listing the many genealogical tables from Adam to Avraham it is the men who beget sons and it is the men who die[3]. Hence our Rabbis take great note of the fact that the Torah tells that Sarah died at 127 – the only age given for the passing of a women in the Torah – explaining the significance of the mention of her age at passing (see here for further elaboration).
Yet would we attach any less importance to marriage if this small detail had been left out? Apparently, there is much significance to the fact that Yitzchak married at 40. In Biblical numerology 40 is the number of transformation. The flood waters lasted for 40 days as a new world was created; Moshe spent 40 days on Mount Sinai becoming Moshe Rabbeinu; the slaves of Egypt became the nation of Israel after wandering for 40 years in the desert. Our Sages note a fetus in the first 40 days “is only water”[4] before becoming an active fetus.
Yitzchak’s marriage at 40 marks his transformation. The previous verse notes that “These are the Toldot of Yitzchak the son of Avraham, Avraham begot Yitzchak”(Breisheet 25:19) a seemingly totally superfluous verse. The verse may add nothing to our biographical knowledge, but it adds much to our understanding of Yitzchak.
Who was Yitzchak? He was – at least to the age of 40 – “the son of Avraham, to whom Avraham gave birth”, a person of no initiative, no independence who is subject to the actions of others. He is taken to be sacrificed, a wife is chosen for him – even Rivka was asked if she agrees to the marriage, but not Yitzchak. He is nowhere to be found after the death of his mother and there is no reason to even think he was at the funeral.
Yet at the age of 40 all of a sudden it is he who takes a wife, it is Yitzchak – and according to Biblical text he alone – who prays for his barren wife. While Avraham is alive until Eisav and Yaakov are 15, there is no mention of any interaction between grandparents and grandchildren. It is Yitzchak and Rivka who will raise the next generation[5].
At the same time, like his father before him, Yitzchak journeys towards Egypt during famine, and like his father claims his wife is his sister and digs the same wells his father dug.
The great challenge of generational change is how to follow the ways of the past while remaining relevant in the present so that one can build a great future. Parents and children struggle to find the right balance between tradition and modernity. Stray too far in one direction and run the risk of becoming irrelevant, stray too far the other way and run the risk of losing one’s roots.
Yitzchak, the son of a great revolutionary, had to ensure Avraham’s ideas would not fizzle out as had apparently happened to Chanoch, Noach and Malkitzedek before him. It was crucial that he be the son of Avraham. But Yitzchak needed to pass on the covenant to Yaakov. For that he needed to forge his own path, to properly nurture his children.
This is and was no easy task and one in which all make mistakes. As the children of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah we must put our best efforts into finding that balance so that we are faithful to our past while remaining relevant in the present.
[1] The fact that he mourned for three years is striking – the Talmud notes that [when a parent dies] “one forgets the dead from the heart after one year” and active mourning is no longer allowed. One thing we learn from this chronological detail is how close Yitzchak must have felt to his mother. For further discussion see here
[2] This is part of Eisav seeking to copy his father.
[3] The revolution of the Torah is how significant a role women play in the covenantal relationship between G-d and the Jewish people. Our matriarchs were of even greater significance than our patriarchs. It is, for example, Sarah who saw to it that Yitzchak would be heir to Avraham and it is Rachel who will herald the redemption.
[4] This can be of great practical significance regarding the laws of abortion which at times (but not all times) are allowed specifically during the first 40 days.
[5] Perhaps it is for this reason that the Torah informs us that Yitzchak was 60 when Eisav and Yaakov were born.
