"And Yehuda saw her [his daughter-in-law Tamar], and he thought she was a harlot, because her face was covered" (38:15). Presumably, covering one's face was not the norm, and Tamar's doing so raised suspicion that she likely had something to hide.
How times have changed! Today, we surely would not expect a prostitute to walk around with her face covered; the "harlots" of today have very little that is covered. Those who cover their faces today are generally those who aspire to modesty, not wanting to entice men. Yet we all know that "looks" can be deceiving. At times an external look is worn in order to hide an internal flaw. By dressing in a certain way, we may be trying to create a false image of ourselves.
A false image is something that runs through the entire saga of Yosef and his brothers. "And Yehuda said to his brothers, 'What will we gain if we kill our brother?...Let our hand not be upon him, for he is our brother, our own flesh'" (37:26-27). While on the surface, Yehuda's efforts may sound noble--he is coming up with a scheme to rescue Yosef from his "murderous brothers"--he is heavily criticized by our Sages. Reuven had said essentially the same thing a few moments earlier, so Yehuda's comments were actually counterproductive. Had he built on what Reuven had suggested, the two of them could likely have returned Yosef to Yaakov safe and sound. If memory from Psychology 101 serves me correctly, Yehuda's failure is illuminated by research into jury deliberations, which show that it is extremely rare for one holdout juror to convince the others that he is correct; but if you add one more, the two can often sway the ten.
Yehuda figured that by "consorting" with this harlot, he was "safe" and his moral failure would remain a secret. After having been the ringleader in tricking his father into believing Yosef had been killed by a wild animal, he, too, would be tricked. Sadly, Yehuda's actions and words, once again, do not match. His quick verdict that Tamar should be "taken out and burnt" for her harlotry could easily be seen as hypocritical. While he was unaware at this point that it was he who made Tamar a harlot, he surely knew he had committed a terrible sin. If she should be put to death, why shouldn't he?
This "double standard" is hinted at in the introduction to this tragic story of Yehuda. "And Yehuda saw there the daughter of a Canaanite man, and his name was Shua, and he took her and came upon her" (38:2). Surely the name of Yehuda's wife is more important--or at the very least equally important (or unimportant)--than the name of his father-in-law, a figure we have never heard of nor will ever hear from again. One of the noteworthy features of the first twenty generations--until the arrival of Abraham and Sarah--is how only three women are mentioned, and the context of their mention is quite negative.
As in the sale of Yosef, Yehuda seems to be quite concerned for his family members. It is Yehuda who introduces the mitzvah of Yibum by marrying of his second son to Tamar, so that he could "establish seed for his [deceased] brother" (38:8). When Onan also dies, Yehuda is seemingly prepared to have his third son perform the act of Yibum and marry Tamar. However, Yehuda asks to postpone the Yibum "until Shelah, my son, grows up"; certainly a legitimate reason for delay. Yet the Torah adds a "second" explanation: "Because, he said, lest he die like his brother". Yehuda had no intention of risking the life of his third son, but instead of being forthright, he lied. Had he said nothing, it would be understandable; but Yehuda did not do that: he told a lie. Sin begets sin, and if he would not give his son to Tamar, he would be the one "marrying" her.
The story begins with "and it was at that time (after the sale of Yosef) Yehuda went down"--Rashi noting that going down is a statement of status. Yehuda lost the respect of others due to his role in the sale of Yosef, and his descent continued with the story of Tamar.
Yet it is Yehuda who so eloquently argues for the return of Binyamin. While he may have done so because he promised his father he would be responsible for him, taking on that responsibility is to his credit.
It is Yehuda who Yaakov chooses for the role of the monarchy, the political leadership of the Jewish people. Undoubtedly, Yehuda had great leadership qualities. Yet having great potential is only as meaningful as the use to which we put those qualities. All people make mistakes. Great people learn from them. Our biblical role models provide great examples of how to use, and at times how not to use, our qualities. May we learn well.
