We all like to take credit for success, but failure we tend to blame on others. Such is human nature. Judaism, in trying to elevate our base instincts places extreme importance to the concept of hakarat hatov, gratitude. One who expresses and practices this trait has no trouble sharing success with others.
While most of us pay lip service to the notion of hakarat hatov, actually putting it into practice often requires great strength of character. The Rabbis in Pirkei Avot, sensitive to the difficulty in giving credit where credit is due, state that one who acknowledges his sources and does not attempt to claim them as his own brings redemption to the world. This small act of acknowledging others signifies a person who is not seeking personal honour and glory but is sensitive to others and unwilling to use others for their own gain. With such an attitude redemption cannot be far off.
The problem of ingratitude is as old as humanity. When G-d inquired of Adam why he ate from the one tree he was bidden not to indulge in, he answered by stating: "The woman that you gave to be with me - she gave me what I ate from the tree" (Breisheet 3:12). Rashi notes that man was not just unjustly blaming his wife – while what Adam said was true, every person is responsible for their own misdeeds, so it is he who is responsible for his sin. He also displayed terrible ingratitude. G-d created Eve as a full partner for Adam, someone to help him through life and instead of thanking G-d for this, man says in effect, G-d, it is your fault. Had you not “given me this woman” I would not have sinned. G-d therefore had no choice but to expel such an ingrate from the garden of Eden.
Everything in this world was created for the benefit of man. “In the future man will have to give an accounting and a reckoning for all that his eye saw and from which he did not eat” is the very last teaching of the Jerusalem Talmud Tractate Kiddushin. This is a fascinating metaphor as that very first sin of man was a result of “seeing the fruit…and eating it”. Enjoying the fruit of this works in a permissible fashion is an act of repentance from man’s original sin. What makes the joys of this world permissible is gratitude.
The Talmud (Brachot 35a) notes a contradiction between two verses in sefer Tehillim. In psalm 15 we are told, “The earth G-d has given to mankind". However, in psalm 24 the Psalmist notes ,“To G-d is the earth and its fullness”. The Gemara resolves this contradiction with a simple yet profound statement: "Here [psalm 24] it is before one has made a brachaand here [psalm 15] it is after one has made a bracha”, acknowledging that it is due to G-d's benevolence that we can enjoy this world. To enjoy the beauty of this world without making a blessing is in the words of our Sages a form of theft. It is G-d’s world that we are entitled to enjoy only after acknowledging that fact.
We often take our basic necessities for granted without stopping to think of our good fortune. It is often only when we are sick that we appreciate health and only when a person passes away that we appreciate their importance. Judaism tries to address this tragedy of the human condition by stressing the importance of gratitude in all that we do. Jewish law has developed blessings for practically every occasion ranging from seeing a long lost friend, going to the bathroom, seeing beautiful natural phenomenon (i.e. Niagara Falls), seeing a tree bloom, acquiring a new home, inheriting money, seeing a scholar -both in secular and Jewish fields- and even seeing multitudes of Jews gathered together.
Interestingly, all those blessings are rabbinic in nature. The one and only bracha explicitly mentioned in the Torah is that, found in this weeks’ parsha, of birchat hamazon, commonly referred to as Grace after meals. And it is the after that is so important. To say thank you when one is hungry is easy – and means little. But to say thank you when one has “eaten and is satisfied”, when one no longer needs the food, that is the sign of proper gratitude.
Ingratitude and arrogance are closely related. Just as one who lacks hakarat hatov does not appreciate the role of others, an arrogant person feels no need for others. The Talmud teaches us that the Divine presence cannot co-exist with an arrogant person. There just is no room left for G-d. Is it any wonder the one trait the Torah tells us about Moshe is his humility?
Immediately after the mitzva of birchat hamazon the Torah warns one not to think that they alone are responsible for their good fortune. One must not say that "my own strength and personal power brought me this prosperity" (Devarim 8:17). While undoubtedly one did work hard, without G-d's blessing one’s work easily could have gone for naught - as it does for many other hard workers
By learning to treat everything we have as a blessing we will not only be constantly conscious of G-d but perhaps even more importantly we learn to appreciate our fellow human beings. Just think what a better world this would be if we learned to say thank you even for the simple things, or if we could compliment at least as often as we criticize. Not only will we make others feel good, but we too will feel better about ourselves. And that is what I call a win-win.
